Saturday, February 7, 2009

Computer Solution

     Dear Clutter King,
     Its my computer: to turn it off I have to press "Start." Sometimes all these things pop up when I want to start it. I get a weird virus, I have to update Norton constantly and its really a headache. Why can't it be simpler? Why do I have to go through this Windows hell? My computer is cluttered!
     Signed, Sunny Hills in Trinidad

     Dear SHIT,
     I have one piece of advice for you and all PC users: Get a Mac! That is your only solution. Most people are sheep so they do the microsoft mantra--sad. It might cost a few hundred more but it is "Money well spent," as this local "boutique builder" named Chris used to tell me. Look who invented the freaking iPod? Steve Jobs...I would do Steve Jobs if I weren't involved in so many lesbian three-ways with Rachel Maddow. Yes Rachel has a Mac, what the fuck did you think? Get a Mac and write me a check!

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